An Unbiased View of Orgasm Anxiety: Causes, Treatments & How To Cope
In fact, one doctor-Stuart Meloy of Winston-Salem, North Carolina-already patented one, in 1996. (More on that in a bit.) This outlook rests on reasonable foundations: Orgasms are just energy and drugs surging through brains, and we can trigger them without genital stimulation, even by thoughts alone. They usually (but not always) unfold thanks to (not always sexual) stimulation of the genitals or the nerves tied to them, which send signals up the spinal cord and into the brain.
It consists of a small generator, to be implanted near the spine, linked to electrodes running into spinal nerves that take signals from an external remote. Those electrodes would zap the brain, via the nerves, to orgasm. Only about a dozen women have tried the Orgasmatron, and only a few reported full orgasms.
“Every partner could be different, every action that preceded it… whether it’s make-up sex or angry sex or S&M sex or whatever it might be,” said Jim Pfaus, a sexual neuroscientist. “The quality of [an orgasm] is going to change. Your brain is interpreting it differently because of the antecedent conditions.”We don’t know much about how differing build-up colors an orgasm, or what brain activity during orgasm ties to how we interpret it.
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The spinal surgeon was performing a routine pain-relief operation on a patient, using electrodes implanted into the spine when he hit the magic spot. The patient who was awake at the time started making rather appreciative noises, and told Dr Meloy: ‘You’ll have to teach my husband how to do that’.
He began investigating a device that could trigger orgasms on demand, though they involved having a generator – akin to a pacemaker – surgically implanted along with the spinal electrodes. Aside from the invasive surgery requirement, there was one other problem: the generators cost $25,000 (£19,600) each. In the years since, interest in the Meloy’s orgasmatron has gone limp (sorry again).
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The pleasure we experience after our ‘brief event’ is the result of neurohormones and endorphins – endogenous morphine. The stimulation of different nerves produces different types of orgasms (vaginal, clitoral, anal, prostate, cervical, urethral etc) meaning that there are different flavours and blends depending on your particular predilections. But if an orgasm is ultimately just a flood of chemicals to the brain, could there be an answer outside of new tech devices? What if you could take a pill that eliminated the hard work (and aching wrist) making sexual nirvana as easy as treating a headache? Recently in Pakistan, a group of patients being treated for Parkinson’s disease reported a rather unusual side effect.
Could this have a mass application? Would it even be desirable? The experts are sceptical. The downside, of course, is that if you cheat it and shortcut your way to climax, you miss out on all the good stuff. It’s like specifically taking the scenic route and falling asleep until you get there.
While an orgasm button might be a way off, there’s certainly plenty of sex tech innovation to keep an eye on. Much of the innovation is coming from women, borne of a desire to close the ‘orgasm gap’ in heterosexual encounters (heterosexual women said they orgasmed 63% of the time, for men, it was 85%).
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They’re a crucial part of wellness. The hormones released during climax are known to relieve pain, depression, and stress. Oxytocin stimulates attachment, calmness, and a sense of well-being, while dopamine contributes to a natural high, a sense of elation, and a feeling of boldness. If the pleasure isn’t enough incentive for you, think about that.
What’s a woman to do who can’t quite attain the Big O? Also, a man fears his wife will leave him for a vibrator. Sexploration answers your queries. Got a question? E-mail us. In surveys, about a quarter of American women report some sort of orgasm snafu, either not being able to have one at all (called anorgasmia) or often getting close without being able to take that blissful leap over the edge.
Marcalee Sipski Alexander (no relation) of the University of Alabama, Cindy Meston of the University of Texas at Austin, and of course, Beverly Whipple, who helped pioneer the effort. But even they cannot say for sure what makes an orgasm. “As of yet, no definitive explanations for what triggers orgasm have emerged,” states a review of the science authored by Meston, Alexander and others.
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Many therapists suggest practice, practice, practice with vibrators or fingers or whatever works. Go solo at first so there is no pressure to perform. The last thing you want is for a lover to lose patience and switch on an old episode of “Green Acres.” To know if you have actually had an orgasm isn’t always easy; some are mild tremors, some are major earthquakes.
This is good; it expands the menu. But if a woman comes to expect that same feeling to always be the one that pushes her over the edge, she can become frustrated. So keep the toys in the sock drawer for a little while and then slowly integrate them again.
Orgasms have been much talked about in the past few years with people becoming more aware about sexuality and giving more importance to sexual pleasure in relationships. A lot has been said about how to get better and more frequent orgasms, as the female orgasms also became a subject of importance and controversy that followed.
Our Orgasm – Cleveland Clinic PDFs
The basis of the idea is that an orgasm is basically energy and drugs in motion in the brain, and it can be triggered with thoughts alone, even if there is no genital simulation. An orgasm is caused when simulation of genitals and nerves linked to them sends signals to the brain.
Orgasms are phenomenon that occur during sexual intercourse when two partners are intimately aroused. Of course, men and women are very different in bodily structure, and there are a lot of differences in orgasm technique and effect. Science has looked further into the differences between the two sexes to find out more about which sex has the better orgasm.
Science has shown that men and women are aroused in very different ways, and even that one gender requires more time than the other, but nevertheless, the feelings are very much similar and one gender doesn’t really experience a ‘better’ orgasm than the other, per-se. In fact, both genders have used the same exact words to describe the feelings of an orgasm.
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Women have been socialized to believe male orgasm is more important than their own, We have been taught in America that talking about sex is inappropriate or uncomfortable, Women have been brought up to believe that asking for things or standing up for themselves is considered less attractive than a woman who agrees with or goes along with the norm It’s easier to fake an orgasm than to speak up, You’re tired of having sex or aren’t in the mood, You want your partner to feel validated despite how you feel You’re embarrassed/think something is wrong because you can never orgasm during penetrative sex Next, I want to normalize how common it is for women to have a hard time achieving orgasm in general so perhaps we might all understand that if you can’t, or don’t regularly there’s nothing wrong with you.
I’d like to also say that while it is normal, that doesn’t mean we need to accept it, but it is well understood. Over and over again in sexual health research, the data is clear-male-female penetrative sex does not equal an orgasm for most women. In a 2019 article posted by The Kinsey Institute (a leading research group on sex and sexuality), when asked about orgasm, 22% of women reported that they had never orgasmed during penetrative sex and only 31-40% reported they regularly reached orgasm during sex.
So, what are those 31-40% of women doing differently than the majority? Through a great deal of research (it’s interesting how we love to write, research and learn more about sex isn’t it?!), we understand the determinants of orgasm have less to do with how sexual we are or how often we masturbate and more to do with how our relationships are doing and how we communicate.
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We communicate and connect through words, touch, nonverbal cues, and through sex. Sex is one of the deepest and most personal forms of communication between you and your partner. When you essentially lie about orgasming you’re breaking down communication in your intimate relationship when it could be used as an opportunity to strengthen communication.
What if you found out that five of the last 10 times you had sex with your partner they were faking their orgasms? How would it feel? Would it cause you to trust them less? Would you appreciate it? The thought of lying about something as intimate as sex creates an immediate disconnect between you and your partner.
Even if you’re in a casual relationship or a one-night stand it matters (see #2 for details on that!) This unhealthy and unproductive feeling that is a side effect of not having your needs met or heard is unfortunately all too common when it comes to sex. If you’re lying next to your partner after sex wishing it was different, biting your tongue, unsure of how to approach the situation, it’s a really good idea to broach the topic sooner than later.
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The whole point of sex is to become closer, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Use sex that’s less than satisfying as an opportunity to grow, don’t like something? Just say so. Really love something else, make it obvious! Need something different, bring it up. 3 of 4 This is a complicated topic.
The timing of your conversation is also crucial. Finding a time when you have the time, you’re not in a hurry, and you’re both generally in a good mood is important. Definitely stray away from bringing something like this up during an argument or as a fighting point. I actually wrote an entire article about how to talk to your partner about sex.
Additionally, penetrative sex alone just doesn’t do it for most women because it doesn’t stimulate the clitoris. Instructions and tips on how to achieve an orgasm could honestly be an article itself-so I’ll just list a few hot tips here and link you to some good reading if this is your goal! Try slowing down sex and increasing foreplay.
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Try experimenting at home alone. Online ordering allows you to browse the many options of vibrators and dildos available. I really like body positive and friendly companies like Dame (woman-owned and operated) or Maude (same deal.)Never had an orgasm? Confused about the clit? Let’s get you started: I really like this Guide to Clitoral sex, it details the ins and outs of how to orgasm by stimulating the clit.
I have a friend who’s never had an in her life-in her life! That hurts my heart.” -Nicki Minaj Don’t hurt Nicki’s heart, ya’ll. Demand that orgasm, or at least start taking a few baby steps to boost your confidence and get closer to getting what you deserve babe. All good things come to those who ask for what they want! .
In said study, about 10% of men in their 20s and 7% of men in their 30s claim to have experienced multiorgasms. Let’s take a deeper look into what entail, as well as how to achieve them. It’s important to be able to tell the difference between an orgasm and the process of ejaculating.